Bingo!



  1. Where do you get your morals?

To be honest with you, I was raised Roman Catholic and most of my morals come from there. However, one doesn't need to be religious, or to believe in some sort of Divine Punishment to know that killing, stealing and fucking your neighbor's wife are all shitty things to do. And there are plenty of cultures that came up with societal rules with absolutely no exposure to the Judeo-Christian God.
  1. You'll grow out of your rebelious phase.

I'm 50. I've been an atheist longer than I was Catholic.

  1. So you want to outlaw all religion?

Not at all. I'd prefer if you kept your religion out of my politics, however.

  1. You're what's wrong with society.

That is an offensive statement without any merit.

  1. 95% of the world believes in God. Doesn't that say something?

Ah, the old vox populi! That doesn't prove anything. 95% of the world could believe in unicorns, but it wouldn't make them real.

  1. It takes just as much faith to be an atheist as it does to be a believer!

Actually, you're wrong. It doesn't take any faith at all.

  1. How arrogant.

Another offensive statement. Arrogance is believing that your religion is the One True Faith and that anyone who doesn't believe as you do will be cast into a lake of fire for all eternity.

  1. You can't prove there's no God!

First of all, no one can prove a negative. Second of all, you can't prove there is.

  1. Atheism is a religion, too!

No it isn't. There is no “atheist church”. There are atheist organizations, but they do not dictate a way of life to other atheists.

  1. The evidence for God is all around you!

I see no evidence of there being a God. Sunsets and rainbows are well understood events that are thouroughly understood by science. And I'm confident that any unanswered questions we may have now about the natural world will one day be answered by science.

  1. God loves you anyway.

How nice. This is the same guy who will burn me for all eternity because I don't believe in him, right?

  1. What's stopping you from going on a crime spree right now?

Are you saying that your religion is all that's keeping you from going on one yourself right now? That's truly frightening.

  1. Pascal's Wager.

I'll give my favorite of the hundreds of responses to that. Pascal's wager assumes there is one Judeo-Christian God. What about Odin? Or Zeus? Or any number of Hindu Gods? Of the hundreds of choices of Gods in this world, how can you be sure you're worshipping the right one? It's like a big game of roulette and you're betting on only one square.

  1. Aren't you afraid of Hell?

I'm not afraid of imaginary places.

  1. I feel sorry for you, not having a reason to live.

Another bit of arrogance from your camp. You assume I have nothing to live for. For me, knowing that any day could be my last means that I have to make this life count. I'm not going to be rewarded in heaven, so I better do good right now.

  1. There are no atheists in foxholes.

Tell that to the thousands of atheists who have served this country on the front lines.

  1. But you HAVE to believe in something!

No, I don't. If I have faith in anything it's my faith in human curiosity and our ability to find answers.

  1. Hitler/Stalin/Pol Pot was an atheist, too, you know.

Really? You're going there? Andrei Sakharov, Charlie Parker and H.G. Wells were atheists, too. So is Stephen Hawking. Wanna talk about the Cruscades now?

  1. What are you going to tell your children?

IF I were going to have children, which I'm not, I'd teach them to believe their eyes and to never take the easy answer of “God did it.” Ultimately, when they reached an age when they could decide for themselves what they wanted to believe, I'd accept whatever it was.

  1. I'll pray for you.

Thanks, but that won't be necessary. You see, prayer doesn't actually do anything.

  1. You're doing the Devil's work!

Another creature I don't believe in. Questioning and learning is not the Devil's work, and if you think it is I pity you.

  1. If you read [religious text] you'd change your mind.

You assume I haven't. I've read the Bible (okay, I skipped a lot of “begats”), and it didn't change my mind. If anything it reaffirmed my stance.

  1. You are so closed-minded.

Because I refuse to believe in an omnipresent, omniscient being? If you bring me proof of God, I'll accept it. What would you do if I brought you proof that there was no God? Also, unicorns.

  1. Stop being intollerant of my beliefs!

That's ridiculous. Your beliefs are none of my business. However, your beliefs should not be the basis of law; your beliefs should not be forced upon me or others. In the public square there should be no religion, not just yours.

  1. God doesn't believe in atheists, either.

How pithy of you. And there you go, claiming to know what's inside the mind of God.

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